Inside of Me

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Amy stirred awake suddenly, the realization that she had been crying in her sleep hitting her like a ton of bricks.

She'd dreamt about him again - for the first time in months...

Adam... His visage had visited her in her nocturnal mind hundreds of times - but pretty much since she'd started seeing John, that hadn't been the case. She did think about him a bit, and especially more so lately. It seemed that every time something went wrong between Cena and herself, she would think back to her previous relationship with Adam, and how good things had been for the longest time.

Of course, things had been pretty hellish the last two months of their relationship.

The redhead turned over onto her back, the tears still coming as she tried to keep the sobs silent. A quick glance toward the other bed told her that Dawn Marie was still fast asleep. Then, when her eyes shifted to the nightstand, she realized why - the tiny digital clock the brunette kept with her on the road read twenty minutes to six.

Amy shivered, turning over on her right side and gathering herself into a tight fetal position under the blanket. She was feeling cold and lonely - and empty inside - hollow. The sudden knowledge that she'd become a hollow shell of what she'd once been cut her to the bone.

She still loved him... She knew that all too well. She'd tried, really tried. She had loved John for awhile, and supposed a part of her still did, but it just wasn't the same - Adam had her heart...

Even back then, she supposed she'd known that she was merely trying to capture the feeling she'd had when they'd been a couple. She'd started going out with John very shortly after the breakup. And, like some of her friends - including Dawn Marie - had said, she'd been on the rebound...

Damn if that knowledge, that suddenly moment of clarity didn't sting... The last thing she wanted was to hurt someone - even if he'd been hurting her. But most of all, she felt horribly empty and alone because she knew she was still in love with Adam...

Certainly, the tall blond man had to be dating someone else by now - he was much too good-looking and sweet to not be. Shit, he probably had a new girlfriend - or was seeing several women. Then again, the former would more likely apply, as the latter was not really Adam's style. However, she honestly didn't know. While they'd agreed to remain friends, it seemed to have been mostly talk - they spoke once every so often, but it just wasn't the same. Hell, it wasn't even the way it had been before they'd started going out, but then again, that happened with a lot of former couples. And it hurt her horribly. She couldn't help but wonder how he felt about it...

Amy wiped at the tears on her face with the backs of her hands. She hated the way she was feeling - it made her hate her life altogether... And that sure as hell was not a good feeling.

Suddenly, she heard Dawn Marie sigh and noticed her shift slightly. She quickly threw the covers over her head, not wanting her friend to see her crying and feeling like this. She also didn't want to have to answer any questions - at least, not for the moment. She knew she would feel the need to talk to her sooner or later. She needed a friendly shoulder to cry over.
 
 
 
 

Part 3

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