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*A week and a half later - November 1, 2004*
Amy glanced around the women's locker room quietly, her mind completely elsewhere. Her friends were having a discussion about their upcoming matches for that night on RAW. She, of course, was the only one who was really out of the loop, as she couldn't quite focus.
Trish suddenly looked up and over at her from where she sat with Gail. Amy knew the two divas would be having a match against Lisa Marie and Nidia. Her gaze ever so briefly met the brown eyes of her best friend, and she knew what the little blonde was thinking. Even prior to that night when Adam had burst into their locker room with that skank Joy, the redhead had gone to her best friend to talk with her privately about how she really felt.
*Three weeks earlier*
~"Trish, can I talk to you?"
The little blonde diva looked up from the table, where she sat across from her longtime boyfriend, Chris Jericho. They were in the hotel restaurant, having a nice late little dinner, and were surprised to see Amy standing over them. Ever since the redhead had walked out on her own boyfriend, Adam, she hadn't really spoken to any of the rest of them - not even *her* - and had instead opted to be alone.
Trish exchanged glances with Chris, and the blond man cocked his head to one side, gesturing that she should go ahead. Then, looking back up at Amy, the petite Canadian released her boyfriend's hand from across the table and nodded. Chris rose and pushed back from his chair, inviting the distraught diva to sit.
"I'll just make a little break to the men's room," he said softly.
Amy bit her lip as she watched the blond man disappear. The truth was, she felt awful. And, as much as she hated to admit it, she felt terribly jealous whenever she saw Chris and Trish together these days. Seeing her two friends so lovey dovey with each other, their relationship rock-solid, only served to remind her of the fact that she and Adam were over. Also, she felt a horrible twinge at the fact that she knew she missed him. Despite the fact that he'd cheated on her and she'd been unable to get past it, it killed her to be away from him, to not wake up in his strong arms. She still loved him and knew she always *would*.
"How are you holding up?" Trish asked, her voice filled with concern as she reached across the table to grasp her best friend's hand.
The redhead winced for the briefest second as she raised her gaze to the other woman's eyes. She was silent for a moment, then sighed resignedly.
"Truthfully, Trish? It's been hell..."
The little blonde tilted her head, her pretty face growing sad at her friend's admission. She'd known without a doubt that Amy had been miserable these past couple of weeks. In truth, although she'd known what had happened, as the redheaded diva had gone to her crying immediately after that night back in July when her boyfriend had confessed, she'd actually been surprised it had gone so far. When Amy had stayed with Adam right after that fateful night, she'd thought they would have gotten past his mistake.
"Oh, hon... I'm so sorry things came to this," Trish said softly. "I wish there were something I could do."
Amy bit her lip again, her eyes filling with unshed tears.
"I just... God, Trish, I miss him *so* much!"
"I know, honey... I know." The blonde woman squeezed the redhead's hand. "Have you thought of... talking to him?"
The redheaded diva somehow prevented herself from completely breaking down, but her eyes widened at her friend's words. Talk to him? How *could* she? She couldn't face him, she just *couldn't*. He'd hurt her so horribly, yet despite the fact that she'd stayed with him more than two months after his betrayal, she had been unable to forgive and forget. So, how could she *possibly* talk to him?
"I... I can't even *look* at him now," she admitted, sniffling as she desperately tried to hold back the still unshed tears. "I see him in the hallway at the arenas or hotels and I just... I turn around and walk the other way... Or I just walk on by and ignore him. I... I can't-" She bowed her head, her long red hair forming a curtain around her face. "It's so hard, though, Trish," she moaned. "It's *so* hard without him!"~
Amy ran a hand through her hair, her gaze fixed at nothing on the floor ahead of her. She honestly couldn't take it anymore. Her curiosity was getting the better of her, and she knew she had to know. She needed answers.
Her mind made up, the redhead made a beeline for the door, ignoring her fellow divas, and slipped from the room. As she walked briskly down the hallway, she ignored everyone out there as well, her mind on only one person.
She was shaking as she approached what she knew to be his locker room for the night. She also knew, from Trish, that he'd opted not to share with Chris and Jay tonight. That was actually preferable for her, because she could come to him and not have to worry about any interruptions.
The redhead's breath caught in her throat as she came to the door, and as she neared, she realized it was open a few inches. Silently, she crept closer, her eyes unblinking as she dared to peer inside.
He was inside... His back was to her, and he was doing something, though she couldn't tell what. The unusual slump of his shoulders, the soft, sad sigh he issued, was not lost on her. And she felt sorrow consuming her. By the looks of things, he was obviously miserable - not unlike herself.
As she continued watching over him, she couldn't help but feel horribly guilty as well. His thirty-first birthday had been two days earlier, and she hadn't spoken to *or* seen him. She knew that, after spending all of both their previous birthdays together for as long as they'd been a couple, it had to have killed him that she hadn't been there.
And then, he slowly turned, and she noticed he held an object in his hands. He was staring down at something. She narrowed her eyes for a beat, not able to detect what it was he was studying, and then her heart leapt up into her throat. She suddenly realized... In his right hand, he held his wallet - open. Amy knew he kept a small picture of the two of them - in happier times - inside.
Despite all the hurt and anger she still felt, she felt a twinge of sadness for him. He *did* still love her, she knew that. And their being apart definitely had to be killing him, just as it was killing her.
Surprised that he hadn't already spotted her right outside and watching him, the diva made up her mind. She pushed through the locker room door, startling the blond man in the process, and closed and locked it behind her. One thing was for sure - she wanted answers from him, and she did *not* want any interruptions. He'd already had his match, and she'd already done her spots for the night.
"Amy..." The tall blond man looked beyond surprised as his green eyes raked over her from head-to-toe, and he drank her in longingly, as though disbelieving that she was really there. Yet, she *was*, and he felt full of shock, as she'd done nothing but avoid him over the duration of the past month and then some.
"Let me have my say," she said firmly, one hand outstretched toward him as though to silence him for the moment. "I can't stop thinking about everything, Adam... It's driving me crazy already. But I need something from you. I need answers." She cocked her head to one side, looking sorrowfully into his eyes, and the expression on her face just about broke his heart. "*Why*?" She shook her head at the word. "*Why* did you do it?"
The blond man sighed hopelessly and ran his hand through his hair. Of course, the one question he couldn't answer was the one she *had* to ask.
"I was drunk, Amy... I never wanted to hurt you, honey - I swear it."
She nodded, her head bowing as she knew he meant it.
"I know you didn't *intend* that, but you *did*." She failed to notice the way Adam flinched while her head was still down. "But I don't understand," she continued, raising her head and meeting his emerald eyes. "You're not the type of guy to do something like that. So... *Why*...?" Her voice took on a slightly beseeching quality as she stared up at him, confusion and heartbreak mingling within her.
He nodded. He wished he could go back to that night, not for the first time, and erase everything - redo it. He shook his head.
"But there *must* have been some reason beyond your just being drunk," Amy insisted. "And it just tears me up inside thinking about it. What did I do? What made you resent me enough, made you angry enough at me that you would-"
"Oh, shit..." he muttered, interrupting her. A distant memory, one he'd kept buried for the longest time during their relationship, nagged at his subconscious. Something *had* happened more than four years earlier, when they'd been dating for only two and a half months. And it had hurt him so deeply that he'd pushed it way back to the farthest recesses of his mind.
"What? What is it?" Amy questioned, her gaze fixed on his face.
"It was *you*," the blond man said. "Way back when we were first dating... When you..." He stopped, finding himself incapable of finishing the thought.
The redhead's eyes widened, her heart nearly stopping. Oh, God... She'd not thought of that in years. It had been a mistake, and she'd put it out of her mind for the simple fact that she loved Adam and didn't want to remember.
"I was drunk," Adam finally spoke again. "*Very* drunk, and not altogether there. But now that I think about it, what happened way back then must have been somewhere on my mind." He shook his head, his green eyes closing as he continued. "I guess deep down, I never really got over that you'd cheated on me with Matt."
Amy swallowed hard, a self-loathing coursing through her as she remembered that night - and the next day, when she'd confessed. She'd felt like shit. And, unlike Adam, she *hadn't* been drinking when she'd cheated. Instead, it had been a momentary weakness, and she'd bought into all of the sweet-talking that had been fed to her.
"To be honest, I never understood why it happened," the Canadian continued, his tone of voice somber. "He never treated you right, Ames... And I *did*, and I couldn't believe you would do that with him after being with me, after I was the complete opposite of *him*." He'd known way back, even before they'd ever gone out, that Amy and Matt had slept together on a regular basis a couple of years before she'd come to the WWE - and that Matt had never even called her his 'girlfriend.'
Tears trickled down the redhead's cheeks as she looked him in his eyes. She felt horrible. This was all *her* fault, and yet she still felt hurt and betrayed. After all, his indiscretion had occurred four years into their relationship, not two months into it. And yet, the urge to apologize hit her. Lord knew, she'd apologized more than once all that time ago, but now, when she thought back on it, it seemed to be so empty.
She bit her lip as she took a small, tentative step closer to him. Her gaze dropped, and she studied the pattern on his black wrestling tights for a moment before looking back up into his eyes. She didn't bother to even wipe away the tears as she spoke.
"Happy belated birthday. I feel so bad... I mean, you spent it alone, and I-I'm sorry I didn't..."
"You have nothing to apologize for, baby... This was all *my* fault." His gaze on her was so tender, so filled with love that she cried out, nearly choking on the sob she felt building.
Adam reached out with his right hand, his fingers soft as they traced over her cheek. Her eyes closed at the sensation of him touching her skin, so tender and loving, as he traced her teartrack with one finger. Afterward, he cupped her cheek in his hand, then dared to draw her nearer as she didn't shrink back from him.
"Don't cry, honey," he crooned as he gathered her in his arms. "You know how I hate to see you cry."
She seemed to lean into his touch, and he took this as a good sign as he stroked a hand down her hair and back. God, how he missed her. She felt so incredibly good in his arms. And then, he held her back just enough to gaze down into that beautiful but sad face. She silently looked up into his eyes, her own full of love and longing, and he knew - she still loved him, wanted to get past this and be with him again.
Without a word, he dipped his head to capture her lips with his own, and he pressed the softest, most affectionate kiss on her. She didn't respond instaneously, but did so after a moment, when he suddenly allowed his tongue to penetrate her warm, velvety mouth. He issued a soft moan into her mouth as he felt her respond and press her body slightly closer to his. His body instantly responded, and that was when she suddenly pulled back.
She gazed over his body, her eyes lingering the longest on his throbbing erection, and she felt herself becoming choked up again. She couldn't do this, couldn't deal with this just yet. It was all still so fresh in her mind, and she was worried - and afraid. She shook her head as she gazed back up to meet his eyes.
"I... I'm sorry, Adam."
"Ames?"
She shook her head more frantically then, and turned so fast he was shocked. She quickly undid the lock on the door and ran from the room and into the hallway. He started after her, calling her name, but then stopped. He couldn't go out there like this, with a bulging hard-on.
"Amy!" He called after her from just behind the door, but she didn't turn back and instead ran back to the women's locker room.
And Adam's heart broke yet again.