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*One month later - October 2004*
Adam ran a hand through his long blond hair and sighed, his shoulders sagging as he sorted through his bag. He was currently alone in the locker room he was sharing with his friends Jay Reso and Chris Jericho, and he was glad for that.
Things had been pure hell for him over the last month or so, ever since that awful night that Amy had walked out of his life. And despite the fact that he was alone, without the woman he loved more than life itself, he sometimes had a difficult time believing it was truly his reality.
Practically on a nightly basis, the tall blond man found his dreams consumed by her, the beautiful redhead haunting him. One of his more recurring dreams saw himself walking along some nameless street, surrounded by strangers - until he would suddenly catch sight of *her*. And, as always, he would call her name - repeatedly so - but she would never respond or so much as acknowledge him with even a glance over her shoulder. He would chase after her then, knowing he *had* to catch up to her, *had* to reach her, as though his very life depended on it. Eventually, he *would* finally catch up to the redhead, but whenever he grabbed her by the upper arm and turned her around to face him, his heart would break, shattering into a million pieces... Because, each and every time this happened, it turned out to never be her. And he would find himself peering into the startled face of a stranger. His breath would catch in his throat, and he would feel seconds away from breaking down as the shock of the fact that the woman was never Amy sank in.
Adam shook his head sadly. He loathed himself, he really did. Never in his worst nightmares would he ever have believed himself capable of such ultimate betrayal against the woman he loved - yet, he'd done it. And obviously, there was no going back. If there were some magical way he could travel back in time, return to that night and undo what he'd done, he *would*. He would not have allowed himself to get so stinking drunk when he and Chris had gone to that bar... He would not have allowed his gaze to travel across the floor to that diva contestant... He would not have allowed her to talk him into yet *another* drink, and with *her*... And he most definitely would not have allowed her into his hotel room and bed.
He swallowed hard, a sickening feeling hitting the pit of his stomach. What he'd done had been *so* out of character. He wasn't like that. Adam Joseph Copeland was *not* a cheater. He wasn't the type of guy to go screwing around on the love of his life... And yet, he *had*. It all felt like a horrible nightmare, or like some cruel joke fate had played on him.
He'd been having trouble sleeping at night. Not having Amy with him, laying there beside him, her body spooned against his, or her head laying on his shoulder as his arms held her securely in place, killed him. It had been so long since he'd slept alone, and he wasn't used to it - nor did he *like* the feeling. And due to his lack of sleep, his loneliness and anguish, his matches were beginning to suffer. He recalled how Chris had discreetly told him to snap out of it during a match they'd had a few weeks back, and eventually he'd been commissioned to RAW General Manager Eric Bischoff's office. And he'd been absolutely mortified as he'd acknowledged that his in-ring performance had indeed been suffering.
Not many people knew the truth of the breakup. He hadn't admitted it to anyone but Chris and Jay. And as far as he knew from Chris, Amy hadn't spoken to anyone either, except for her best friend, Trish Stratus. No doubt, the redhead was completely ashamed of him and embarrassed by what he'd done, but the truth was, he couldn't blame her. He felt the exact same way, and he didn't want the world to know all their business.
Damn it... He let out his breath in a rush as he sat down, shaking his head. He couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to go find her, talk to her, somehow try to convince her of his feelings and prove himself. He wanted to get her back. He hunched over in his anguish, holding his head in his hands as he instinctively knew she wouldn't budge. Hell, she'd been avoiding him like the plague for the last month - why would she give him a chance *now*?
Adam barely looked up at the sound of the locker room door opening. No doubt, Chris or Jay - whichever of the two had just entered, were going to see him like this and tell him to snap out of it despite the fact that they were both sympathetic - until he suddenly felt a small, soft hand on his shoulder. And by the feel of said hand, he knew there was *no* way it could possibly belong to either of them.
The blond man looked up, his eyes filling with shock as he took in the sight of the person who'd just entered the room and approached him. And he recoiled back in an instant, shrinking away from the hand on his shoulder as though it burned him.
"What... What are *you* doing in here? What do you want?"
A bright smiled spread across the face of the young, pretty brunette RAW diva contestant as she gazed down at the tall blond man.
"Oh, come on, Adam... I think we both know the answer to that question." Joy Giovanni flashed her pearly whites at him, her brown eyes fixed to the handsome wrestler's green eyes. Without being invited, the diva hopeful lowered herself onto the couch beside him, her legs curling beneath her as she reached for him with both hands. "You know, I can't stop thinking about that night... Ever since... I mean, it was three months ago, but..." The little brunette smiled again as she half-crawled closer to him, her small hands against his shoulders. She continued as the Canadian simply stared at her with a combination of shock and horror. "That was some night," she said huskily. "And I'm still waiting for an encore..." And then, she moved her face closer, so close to his that Adam could feel her warm breath.
"What are you...? No! Get the hell away from me!" the blond man shouted, jumping to his feet and moving well away from the woman. "First of all, you're not supposed to be here because of the rules. And second, I don't want to be with you!"
Joy's face showed momentary hurt as she pouted, then she shook it off and brightened again.
"Come on... you don't really mean that," she said as she rose to her feet to stand close to him. "I *know* you had a good time that night."
He pushed her away from him, though he made sure to be gentle about it, as she was much smaller than him and he could easily hurt her.
"Whatever, Joy," he snapped. "Listen, I want to make myself perfectly clear. It's *not* gonna happen again."
She merely stared at him with large brown eyes that somehow refused to show sorrow at his words. Instead, the brunette smiled confidently again.
"I'm sure it *will*."
Adam was suddenly acutely aware of the way his pulse was pounding so furiously in his temples. He clenched his teeth in anger, his mind whirling as he looked down at the diva contestant. He didn't want her, he never *had*. It had always only been one woman, and one woman *only*. And damn it, the urge to appeal to her was growing stronger and stronger by the moment. Then, his mind suddenly made up, he turned back to Joy.
"Okay, that *does* it!" he shouted, grabbing the brunette by the arm so fast, she nearly lost her footing in the high, clunky heels she wore. He dragged her from his locker room, marching with her down the arena hallway, ignoring the stares from various superstars who happened to be passing by. He made a mad dash for the women's locker room, not even mindful of the fact that divas within might be in the middle of changing clothes as he yanked on the door handle.
A shriek came from Gail Kim as he barged into the room with Joy, as the Asian diva had been about to put a tank top on, and she held the garment up against her bra-covered breasts. Adam, however, didn't even notice as his gaze immediately went to only one of the divas present.
The redhead's face displayed her shock as she caught the sudden sight of her former boyfriend, the blond man having appeared so suddenly and unexpectedly, it nearly blew her over. Then, her hazel eyes narrowed as she shifted them to the woman he'd brought with him. What the hell was going on? He had the *nerve* to bring the little slut here??
Adam still held tightly onto Joy's arm as he stepped closer to Amy, the fact that Gail, Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus, Lisa Marie Varon and Nora Greenwald were all also currently present in the women's locker room. His gaze fixed on the face of the woman he still considered to be the love of his life.
"Don't say a word," he panted, "just listen... Please." He turned to glare at the brunette he had at his side, who had shrank back slightly, shock in her brown eyes at the situation. He yanked her slightly forward as he turned back to Amy. "Look... This has been *killing* me. And I'm not just saying that, I *mean* it. Look at me, Ames - look in my eyes." He pointed up to his bloodshot green eyes with his free hand, gesturing to the dark circles beneath them. "I haven't had a decent night's sleep since you left me. I'm fucking up in the ring, and you know how much I love my job..."
"You son of a bitch... What the *hell* are you thinking?!" the redhead suddenly shouted, her face full of fury as she glared up at him, her eyes shifting to the short brunette with him. "And why did you bring *her* here? To rub my nose in it?!" The look in Amy's hazel eyes was murderous, and it nearly made Adam flinch.
"No! Hell, no! I brought her here because I wanted to prove something to you," he yelled. He paid no heed to the other five divas in the room, all of whom had stopped whatever they'd been doing before he'd burst in here and were now merely watching and listening in shocked silence. "Damn it, Amy! I can't take this anymore! I brought *her* here," he spat, turning to look Joy squarely in the eye before turning back to the woman he loved, "to tell you the truth. I know I fucked up. I fucked up *big* time. And if I could take it back, I *would*. Fucking *hell*, if it were possible, I would go back in time and redo that night all over again. I don't give two shits about *her*," he said firmly, gesturing toward Joy with his other hand. "I love *you*, and only *you*. Damn it, Amy, it's always only been *you*!" Then, before the redhead could utter a syllable, Adam turned to face the petite diva contestant, being sure to meet her brown eyes squarely as he spoke. "Get this and get it *good*. I never gave a damn about you... I love *her*-" He pointed at Amy. "-and I sure as hell don't want a fucking thing to do with you ever again. What happened between us was a *mistake*!"
Joy didn't speak a word and instead merely looked up at him balefully, her brown eyes dewey. The blond man suddenly loosened, then released his hold on her upper arm. The moment he did, the young woman ran from the room.
Adam, however, stayed put. His green eyes fixed on the hazel orbs of his ex-girlfriend, the woman he so desperately wanted to win back. Damn it, he didn't know what else to do.
"I can't believe you brought that little bitch here..."
"God damn it..." the tall blond man muttered. "Amy, I did it because I *love* you. I *had* to tell her - in front of *you* - that she doesn't mean a fucking thing to me. Don't you see?"
She shook her head, her eyes brimming over with the tears that had been welling within. She was in shock over the situation.
"Fuck, woman!" Adam shouted, not caring that there were other women present. "I don't know what more I can do to prove my love to you..." He inched closer to her and reached out with his right hand as though to grasp gentle hold of a lock of her beautiful red hair, but she shrank away from him. "What else can I do to *show* you that I'm speaking the truth? I *love* you, Amy Dumas... you and *only you*. You are the love of my life, and... Damn it, if I have to make love to you right here, in front of everyone, by God, I'll do it - just to prove I love you."
The redhead shook her head slowly, the tears spilling down her cheeks as she kept her gaze on him.
"You stupid idiot," she moaned.
He didn't say a word and instead arched a brow as he gazed at her. A knife twisted at his heart as she continued.
"I *know* you love me... That's why it hurts so fucking much!" she cried.
The blond man reached out for her, but the diva recoiled and instead pushed past Stacy, the tall blonde slightly in her way, and ran from the locker room.
The blond man lowered his head, his eyes closing as he mentally cursed himself. He ran a hand through his long hair and held it there, then raised his gaze to find five divas still staring at him in complete and utter silence. And each one of their faces, to his surprise, wore a look of sympathy - though whether it was for him, for Amy, or for *both* of them he couldn't discern.
Then, without a single word spoken to any of the women, Adam turned and left the divas' locker room.