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The Final Straw
Although things in my relationship had been so good for the longest time, it wasn't the same anymore. I sat at my laptop, staring at a blank screen for what seemed an eternity, trying to make heads or tails of it.
Taking a deep breath, I typed what was on my mind.
Can you change a man, or does a man have to want to change for you?
Exhaling slowly, I knew the answer already, since it was quite rhetorical. But I felt I wanted and even needed to broach the topic in the next edition of Sex and Love.
Edge... The man was handsome, sexy, successful, charming... Yet, at the same time, rigid, stubborn, occasionally clueless and unfeeling. He never seemed to get my subtle little hints about things that meant the most to me. And I was beginning to question our relationship.
Sure, all couples have their fights, their ups and downs... but whether they stay together, ignore the issues or confront them, or break up, depends on the magnitude and frequency of such things.
Edge was in Tokyo on business all week. I was of course left in New York, alone to tackle the demons plaguing my heart and my mind. He called me every night on my cell phone via international long distance, but our conversations never seemed as warm or as long as they'd once been. Of course, that could just be due to the miles and continents separating us, but I didn't think that was all there was to it... Not for a second did I delude myself into thinking that. We had been growing distant for awhile, ever since the hair dryer incident.
It was something I could neither explain nor understand. So, rather than tackle it on my own, I called one of my friends and met her at a tiny cafe near my house.
"Hey... Thanks for meeting me," I said as I stepped over to the table where she already sat, waiting.
"Where else would I be when you've got a crisis?" Candice asked, flashing a tiny smile that quickly disappeared as she remembered her concern. "Amy, what's wrong? You sounded so weird on the phone."
Plopping myself into the chair opposite her, I sighed and picked up a menu.
"I think I'm on the outs with Edge," I blurted.
"Oh, no!" the brunette exclaimed. "Sweetie, what's going on? Talk to me." Candice laid a hand on my arm, and I raised my hands to cover my eyes. I groaned and shrugged helplessly.
"I don't think he gets it a lot of the time... You know?"
My friend eyed me in sympathetic silence.
"Like, for instance, I had to pretty much beg him to stay all night whenever we were at my place," I said.
"Are you serious?" Candice asked, her brown eyes wide.
"Unfortunately, yes... We would make love, cuddle for awhile, and then he'd leave."
My friend rolled her eyes.
"AJ was the exact opposite," she scoffed. "After sex, he never wanted to leave. It was like I suddenly had a roommate." She shook her head, but I didn't miss the wince.
"Oh, honey." This time, I was reaching out for her hand to offer some comfort. "I'm sorry... You're obviously still hurting from your breakup, and here I am griping to you about my relationship troubles." I felt really guilty. Why had I been so self-centered? Why hadn't I considered the obvious before calling Candice for this? After all, I could have easily called Trish.
"Amy, no... It's okay," she assured me. "I'm glad to be here for you - and I'm glad you called me."
"Are you sure?" I asked her.
"Yes," she replied. She reached out and squeezed my hand. "I absolutely would not be here right now if I wasn't."
I smiled warmly at her. She was truly a true blue friend, and I didn't know what I would do without her. Grateful, I mouthed a thank you to her.
A few minutes later, we had food placed before us and started to dig in. Candice took a sip of her water before speaking again.
"So, what else?"
I dug into my meal, famished. For some reason, I tended to be hungrier when I was stressed.
"Well, there was another incident with my hair dryer."
"With your hair dryer?" my friend asked as she arched a questioning brow.
I nodded and crammed a forkful of food into my mouth.
"Indeed... I wanted to keep something of mine at his place," I explained. "You know, like so he wouldn't forget me when I'm not there."
"Amy... You know he wouldn't forget you."
I weakly smiled, knowing Candice wasn't defending Edge but rather assuring me that I was unforgettable.
"Yeah, but... Well, I left my hair dryer in his bathroom cabinet a few weeks back. And then, the next thing I knew, he stopped by my apartment, and - take a wild guess."
The brunette gave a slightly faraway look.
"He brought your hair dryer?"
"Bingo," I said miserably. I sighed and rested my head in my hands. "Candice, I don't know what to do."
My friend eyed me with sympathy. Laying a hand on my arm, she sighed as well.
"Well, I hate to sound like a corny cliche, but... you'll figure it all out," she said. "Do what's best for you.
Follow your head instead of your heart."