______________________________________________________
{Watching every motion
In my foolish lover's game
On this endless ocean
Finally lovers know no shame
Turning and returning
To some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion
As you turn around and say
Take my breath away
Take my breath away...}
He watched her intently, his eyes hidden behind the relative safety of the dark shades of the sunglasses he wore. He absorbed her every move as she entered the catering room at the arena, never wavering off of her as she made her way to the small salad bar several feet away from where he sat.
She was so breathtakingly beautiful. He’d always known that, dating back to the first time he’d ever laid eyes upon her when she’d first joined the WWE. That had been over four and a half years now, and the truth was, it pained him just to look at her.
She was chattering away with her friend Stacy Keibler, the two divas’ girlish laughter chasing the small story she related to the tall, leggy blonde. And he was reminded then of how very much he truly loved the sound of her sweet laughter.
She meandered around the buffet table, filling her plastic plate high with vegetables for a very hearty salad. Finally, she was finished, and he watched as she reached for the balsamic vinaigrette dressing situated at the very end of the table. Then, she joined Stacy at the small table the blonde woman had already claimed for them, sitting down and crossing her legs as she dove into her salad.
In moments, he could hear the leggy blonde speaking discreetly to her, glancing his way and directly at him for the briefest second. He knew the young woman was talking about him, most likely telling her friend he was staring at her. Despite the relative discretion of her companion, the object of his intense and longing scrutiny turned full around to look at him.
“Edge?” A warm smile touched Lita’s full lips, brightening her entire pretty face. And he felt something inside of him break. Over the last year and a half, he’d sort of hardened a bit – to a lot of things and people, mostly due to his neck injury. He’d grown more cynical, more critical, more cutting. He supposed it was a lousy thing for other people, but hey… He couldn’t help being the person he’d evolved into after his ordeal.
Of course, people like Chris Benoit, for instance, had come out of the exact same situation in a more positive light. The Crippler had taken the lemons fate had handed him and made the proverbial lemonade. As for himself… Well, it had taken him a long time to even *begin* to see the light on the other end of the tunnel.
“Hey, Lita… Stacy,” he replied, making a slight waving gesture with his left hand. Although he certainly didn’t mind the redhead’s attention focused on him, he was sort of annoyed with the leggy blonde for having drawn it toward him. “What’s up?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” she commented. Her hazel eyes appeared warm as she gazed at him, and Edge couldn’t help but remind himself that she too had endured the exact same injury and subsequent surgery he’d had. Of course, things had to have been much rougher for her, what with her being a woman. She was remarkable, though – she was the first woman to ever undergo major neck surgery and step into a wrestling ring again. And he scoffed at all the idiots who’d ever had the gall to criticize her in-ring work now. Let some of *them* try breaking their fucking necks and stepping back into the squared circle to perform unbelievable maneuvers on a nightly basis!
Lord, how he respected her. Lita was beautiful and wonderful and amazing and… and he had never been able to deny his feelings for her to anyone – except *her*. Practically all the guys in the back knew he had it bad for her, and a few of the divas did as well. Of course, he’d never said anything to her back prior to the roster split due to her relationship with Matt Hardy. And then, they’d been apart, she on RAW and he on SmackDown. Shortly after the split had been when she’d broken her neck. He’d gone to visit her a couple of times upon learning of the horrendous injury – but that damn Matt had still been there. He’d given the dark-haired man a few smirking looks; he knew Lita’s “devoted” boyfriend had his eye on a couple of the blonde divas in the company. As far as Edge was concerned, he didn’t *deserve* a goddess like Lita simply because he didn’t truly appreciate her.
And so now, it had come down to this… Lita was finally done with Matt Hardy, the two having gone their separate ways once and for all back in November of last year. And he’d returned after fourteen long months on the shelf with his own neck injury back in March, a spot on the RAW roster secured for him. Yet, so near her, he still wouldn’t open his mouth to say a word to her about how he truly felt.
The truth was, Edge didn’t feel as though he were good enough for Lita. She was special, one of a kind, a diamond in a world full of shit. She deserved someone who could cherish her and treat her like a princess. Despite the fact that he was completely, desperately and madly in love with her, he knew he couldn’t be that someone.
{Watching I keep waiting
Still anticipating love
Never hesitating
To become the fated ones
Turning and returning
To some secret place to hide
Watching in slow motion
As you turn to me and say
Take my breath away…}
“Edge?” she was asking, her head cocked to one side as she regarded him, a gentle expression in her beautiful eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Oh… yeah,” he replied, and he reached up to lower his sunglasses just enough so that his green eyes were visible to her for the briefest moment. He allowed his gaze to tenderly, longingly drink her in, absorbing every last savory drop of her loveliness. And he had to look away finally, as it was too painful for him at times. She would never be his. He would never know the gentle touch of her soft lips against his, the feel of her small, curvaceous body pressed against him in passion – passion that he longed and ached to give her and to receive back.
Finally, he tore his eyes away from her face and stood up from his small table. Ignoring Stacy altogether, he cast one last quick glance at Lita. “I have to go do something,” he mumbled unintelligibly, hoping she would buy such a lame excuse. And then, before she could issue a reply, he strode from the catering room, his long legs swift as he moved on to his dank locker room. She was all light and sweetness… He was all darkness and about taking to the shadows – ironically enough, much like he’d been while he’d been part of The Brood.
As much as it wrenched at his heart, Edge knew the redhead was better off. She needed someone who could lift her up in every way, not drag her down in his own melancholy and misery.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
*Later that night*
Her tears were scalding hot as they coursed their way down her cheeks. Yet, she didn’t quite know why she was weeping.
She supposed she was hurting after the terse and most chilly reception Edge had given her earlier that evening at the arena, but why? He hadn’t exactly been rude to her. At the same time, she was terribly disappointed that he’d just up and left as he had. She’d wanted to talk to him, wished he would have joined her and Stacy at their table.
“Lita, I don’t know why you’re crying over him,” the leggy blonde insisted. Despite her normally sunny demeanor, Stacy *had* found the tall blond man’s attitude toward them to be most negative. On top of this, she hadn’t particular been thrilled with the strange way he’d changed since returning on RAW. He had this dark arrogance about him that she’d never detected prior to his surgery.
“Stacy, you wouldn’t understand,” the redhead said sadly. “Edge and I… We go way back. Our friendship… it’s kind of tricky.”
“Yeah… so?” The blonde diva crossed her long arms across her chest and eyed her friend expectantly.
“You don’t understand,” Lita repeated. “Back when I broke my neck… something happened.”
Stacy’s brown eyes widened. “You mean…? You cheated on Matt with Edge?” There was a hint of disbelief in her voice.
“No… no, not at all. I didn’t mean… Oh, damn it.” The redheaded diva shook her head with frustration, knowing there was no way she could explain to Stacy and make the young woman comprehend her. Then, she raised her gaze, meeting the younger woman’s eyes. “Edge and I… We have this common bond,” she elaborated. “I don’t expect you to understand, but… when he visited me in that damn hospital when I broke my neck…” She paused in her speech, her eyes misting over again as she became choked up. “Something happened…”
The tall blonde woman blinked as she eyed her friend seriously. “Oh, Lita… it’s okay.” She wrapped her slender arms around the redhead for a moment, allowing her to silently sob against her. Then, pulling back and looking down into the woman’s tearful hazel eyes, she spoke again. “Lita… are you in *love* with him?”
“Honestly? I think it started off as just me unable to stop thinking about him when he came to see me. Lord knows, he was more attentive in the two times he visited me in the hospital than Matt had been in the entire week he’d been there.” She sniffled as she continued. “At first, I just couldn’t stop thinking about him – to the point that I was sure I’d developed a crush on him. But…” She nodded. “Yeah, Stace – I think I’m in love with him.”
“Oh, sweetie, you have to tell him that then!”
The redhead’s face was again downcast as she contemplated such a thing. “He doesn’t care a thing for me – at least not now,” she said miserably. “I mean… he’s like a totally different person since he’s returned.”
Stacy nodded in sad agreement. “That may be so, Lita… but how can you be so sure that underneath that gruff exterior, *he’s* not in love with *you*, too?”
The tearful diva eyed her tall blonde friend with respect, filled with awe for her insightfulness – or was it insanity? Either way, Stacy could be quite wise beyond her years more often than not. She nodded. “I guess you’re right. And it’s better I at least *try* to talk to him, isn’t it?”
The young blonde diva nodded. “Don’t give up on him, Lita,” she said, despite her words from a few mere minutes earlier. The way Stacy now saw it, there had to be a logical reason why Edge was always so standoffish toward the people with whom he’d once been so close.
The redhead nodded, wiping at her cheeks with both hands as she forced a smile at her friend. The last thing she wanted to do was to give up on Edge. He was a friend – or *had* been – for so long, and a good and true one for so long. Even if she couldn’t get him to open up to her – he being a typical guy – she could still open her heart to him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He took to the shadows, taking in all the strange sounds and beautiful fragrances of the flora around him as he strolled the neighborhood.
He supposed he should be in the hotel, getting ready to go to sleep for the house show tomorrow night, but he was feeling restless. And when he got that feeling, he needed to get up and work off the excess energy.
The tall blond man sighed, breathing deeply of the warm night air. He turned himself in circles, surveying the dark night all around him, embracing it. And that was when he saw her…
{Through the hourglass I saw you
In time you slipped away
When the mirror crashed I called you
And turned to hear you say
If only for today
I am unafraid…}
She took his breath away. She was so ethereally beautiful, her long red hair swaying in the gentle breeze of the night. She was standing just on the corner of the street just beyond him, her arms crossed over her chest as she waited for a car to pass so she could cross. She turned her head to face forward and their eyes met.
{Take my breath away…}
Lita suddenly became startled by the distinct sound of a clap of thunder up above, and she glanced up at the sky instinctively. Damn, she could have sworn the weather had been clear as a bell mere moments ago. But then as she crossed the street, Edge directly in her line of vision as she proceeded, the first droplets of rain hit her face.
“Lita… What are you doing out here at this hour?” the blond man asked, his tone tinged with surprise as he eyed her intently. There was slight confusion on his handsome face as he gazed down at her. He squinted a bit then as the rain grew heavier, splashing onto his eyelashes.
“I had to talk to you, Edge…” she replied, not mindful in the least of the rain now that she was so physically close to him and they were alone. The rain blossomed into a slight driving storm, and despite herself, she began to shiver.
“God damn, Lita…” he swore, then shrugged out of his black leather jacket. The redhead was wearing only a thin white cotton T-shirt on top, and she was getting drenched. She had to be freezing. He wrapped his jacket around her shoulders, his large hands lingering on her slender shoulders.
“Thank you,” she said quickly, her gaze locked on his green eyes. “Edge, I want – no, I *need* you to know something…”
He frowned at the seeming severity of her monologue, but didn’t dare interrupt and allowed her to continue. She sounded so serious and determined.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you since you returned, but…” She looked down, swallowing hard for a moment before raising her head again to meet his eyes in the rain.
“Okay…? Let’s do this while we’re walking, okay?” he said, noticing that she was still shivering despite being locked securely in his jacket – which was swimming on her slender form, at that.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you for the last two and a half years,” the redhead blurted, and he halted in mid-step at her admission. He gazed down at her, her long hair by now becoming plastered to her forehead, his heart pounding in anticipation.
“You and I – we have this bond, Edge… And the only reason I’m not afraid to say this is because I know it’s true – and *you* know it, too.”
The blond man was silent and thoughtful as he gazed at her. She looked so small and desperate for his acknowledgment as she stood there in the pouring rain. He raked a hand through his wet blond hair.
“I don’t know what to say, Lita…”
She visibly winced. Could she have been wrong about him?
“No, I *do*,” he corrected himself. He sighed and felt his heart sinking, but this needed to be said. “You are the most wonderful and beautiful, sweetest person I have ever known in my life… but it can’t happen.” She winced again, and, twisting the knife she felt in her heart, he raised one hand and pressed it tenderly to her wet cheek. “I’m not the same person I was two years ago… and you deserve someone who’s gonna lift you up and treat you like the goddess that you are.”
Her tears flowed freely now, a sickening, tight feeling in her chest as she absorbed his words. Why was he doing this? “You don’t care about me,” she moaned.
This time, it was Edge’s turn to flinch. Her words hurt him more than any punch or injury ever could. “Honey, that’s not true.” He swallowed hard. “You want to know the truth?” When she nodded emphatically, he went on. “I love you. I always have… but there were always obstacles.”
“Obstacles?” she pressed, an incredulous expression on her face. She was still crying softly but was beginning to get annoyed in her increasing frustration. She had failed… She’d come to him to open her heart and he was rejecting her. And damn if it didn’t hurt like bloody hell.
“Yes, obstacles – like Matt Hardy,” he said, a scowl on his sharply handsome face as he spoke her former boyfriend’s name. “The damn roster split, the fact that you were on one show while I was on the other all the fucking time. My neck surgery – the fact that it changed me forever. I’m not sure you’ve noticed, Lita, but I’m not the same happy go lucky guy I was before the neck gave out on me.”
“What?!” The redhead couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Is this all you’re about now? Feeling sorry for yourself?” She shook her head with disbelief. She’d never known Edge to be the type of person to wallow in self-pity. Yet he was now a damn martyr. “You have some case, mister!” she shouted. “You act like you’re the only one who ever suffered through a broken neck! How fucking selfish can you be? What about Benoit? What about Rhyno, or Scotti 2 Hotty, or… I don’t know - *me*?!”
He let out a slightly sardonic chuckle, and despite the fact that she felt like wringing his surgically-repaired neck, she merely continued to sob quietly. He was maddening and yet, she still loved him. And then, his next words made up her mind for her.
“See, that’s the thing,” he replied. “All of those people – you – none of you are *me*.”
Lita couldn’t believe her ears. She nearly choked as a sob overwhelmed her, and she couldn’t take any more of this. They were standing here in the middle of a damn rainstorm at fucking two-thirty in the morning. All she was going to accomplish tonight was a cold. Despite her still breaking heart, she was going to move on – go back to the hotel where it was safe and warm – and dry.
“I give up…” she said evenly, tossing her hands up and shaking her wet head. “Goodnight, Edge… Goodbye.” With those final words, she turned back the way she’d come and started heading for the street, not even giving thought to the fact that she still wore his jacket, her feet slapping puddles in the sopping pavement.
Edge watched her with a sinking heart. So, this was it? She was just going to walk away? Seemingly, she was not only leaving him standing here in the rain on this nearly deserted street, but leaving his life altogether. The pangs in his solar plexus stabbed at him more agonizingly than he ever could have imagined.
“Lita! Wait, Lita, wait!”
{Through the hourglass I saw you
In time you slipped away
When the mirror crashed I called you
And turned to hear you say
If only for today
I am unafraid
Take my breath away}
The redhead turned as though in slow motion, her gaze fixing on him almost curiously as he briskly came forth. He couldn’t believe he was doing this, and he had the odd sensation that he was dreaming, but he couldn’t help himself. He could never help it where this woman was concerned.
“Don’t walk away…” he said breathlessly as he caught up to her, his green eyes soft and gentle as they locked with her hazel depths. “Don’t walk away and out of my life… please.” He softened as he dipped his head slightly toward hers, and the diva’s breath caught in her throat as his face neared hers.
“I meant what I said, Lita… I *love* you. And damn it, I *do* want to be with you.”
They gazed deeply into one another’s eyes for another moment, the pounding rain still hitting them and drenching them with its madness before Lita finally craned her neck, meeting him halfway for the searing kiss. Her breath was taken away by the sheer intensity of emotion between them, her tears still dripping as he consumed her mouth. Their lips continued to meet hungrily, the blond man’s arms tightening around her waist, drawing her to him in a most secure fashion. She suddenly felt warm in spite of the driving downpour, and, amidst the chaos and confusion, she knew all was all right with the world. She had Edge, and he had her.
{Take my breath away, my love}
// End \\