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Punk nearly jumped three feet in the air when he felt a hand swat him in the back of the head.
"Ow!" he groaned, whirling quickly around to see a furious Maryse. "What was that for?!" He looked the woman over. What was she, crazy?
"You called your ex-girlfriend?!" she screeched, her brown eyes full of indignation as she glared at him.
The man was momentarily lost. What in hell could she be talking about? Then, he had to remind himself that the diva thought he was Edge - and that explained a lot. He'd figured the Canadian wasn't called the "Rated R Superstar" for nothing.
"You got a message on your machine," Maryse elaborated when he merely looked at her. "It was from Lita! How could you!" She smacked at him with her slender hands again.
Punk tried backing away from her, but she wouldn't relent. Finally, he grabbed hold of her hands, securing a tight grip on her wrists.
"Whoa, stop it!" he exclaimed. He'd had just about enough. The French Canadian was very beautiful - as a guy, he couldn't deny that... but in spite of her seeming delicateness, she also hit surprisingly hard! He had a bad feeling that this one could lash out and sting a man with a deadly venom if truly angry. Obviously, Edge must have called Lita, and she'd called him back.
"You don't believe me?!" Maryse's expression was a cross between imploring and enraged.
"I didn't call Lita," he said calmly. Well, that much was the truth. He didn't, even if Edge did.
The tall blonde stared at him, and he couldn't make heads or tails of what thoughts might possibly be running through her mind. She cocked her head and studied him. Then, crossing her arms over her ample chest, she spoke again.
"You didn't? Really?"
"I really didn't," he replied.
She seemed to consider his words, and after a beat, a smile came to her face. Maryse's body language drastically changed as well, and she stepped nearer to him, appearing happy as she suddenly threw her arms around his neck.
"Aw, so you do love me!" she cried, and she kissed him on the lips. Her actions were so extremely fast that Punk didn't even have a chance to stop her. He didn't exactly kiss her back, either, but the blonde was so oddly happy so soon after being so furious that she apparently didn't even notice.
Punk stared at her, feeling an overwhelming urge to wipe off his lips. He could hardly believe the witch had even touched him, let alone kissed him. He wished he were with Ashley, but it was at least the thousandth time he'd wished that by now.
And Maryse was downright scary... To go from being so enraged to suddenly elated the way she had was just not normal. If anything, it was a tad bit bipolar. He shuddered inside at that thought.
As Maryse suddenly busied herself with something in the living room, Punk couldn't help but think of Ashley again. What was she doing at that moment? Was she still with that skunk Edge? Was he mistreating her? Was he plotting a way to get into her pants? It filled him with fury to think of the last three concerns. Then, he suddenly grew fearful for a whole different reason...
... If Edge had called Lita and he was with Ashley, what would she think if she were to find out? Damn it, what if she thought that he - CM Punk - was plotting a rendezvous with the former diva and cheating on her? It was a very frightening though. If his girlfriend were to break up with him when he wasn't even there and wasn't doing anything, it would sting like nothing else.
There had to be a way to contact her without arousing suspicions, and without her thinking he was Edge.
He stood in the center of the Rated R Superstar's living room, turning in a circle as he glanced over the surroundings. And then, as he gaze fell on an object, it hit him.
He would send her an email.