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*October 2004, Night of Amy and Jay's Wedding*
Amy tossed and turned restlessly, unable to fall asleep. The room was completely dark and quiet sans her breathing and Jay's. Yet, she couldn't find enough peace of mind or body to drift into slumber like her new husband had.
Naturally, it being their wedding night, they had made lover earlier. Usually, that would relax her, but if anything, it had her even more wound up and alert. She felt tormented, unable to clear all her thoughts and realizations from her mind.
Adam... She recalled the look in his normally brilliant green eyes as he'd approached her at the reception, when he'd asked her to dance with him. He hadn't seemed his normally upbeat and vibrant self. He'd seemed somewhat tired, defeated even. She wondered why that was and suspected it might have been due to the fact that he had still fairly recently gone through the exact opposite of what she had just ventured. While she herself was now a newlywed, the tall blond man was now divorced.
The redheaded bride rose as gently as she could so as to not disturb her husband. Running a hand over her weary face, she padded over to the window and stood there, peering out at the darkness past the pretty, delicate curtains.
It made her feel guilty to mentally acknowledge it, but Amy had felt glad when she'd learned Adam and Torrie were getting a divorce. The blonde woman had always been wrong for the Canadian. Women like that should never get married anyway, she thought. But she had to admit, that wasn't the only reason she'd been so elated - so relieved - for the split.
She swallowed hard as she thought about how happy she'd been that Adam was single again... It was quite strange and even hypocritical of her since she *wasn't* single and there'd been no chance for them to get together in the first place.
The redhead glanced sharply over her shoulder as Jay suddenly groaned in his sleep, and she watched him shift onto his side, then grow still and silent once again. For some reason, her pulse was racing. She'd actually dreaded him wakning up right now and supposed that was because she preferred to be alone with her thoughts and not have to explain why she wasn't in bed beside him.
She closed her eyes tightly as a tormentous thought struck her... Had she made a huge mistake earlier that night? For God's sake, she was now married, and yet she couldn't stop thinking about another man... And not just *any* other man but her new husband's lifelong best friend. Why, oh why did things have to be so complicated? It pained her so much that she just suddenly let loose the floodgates and felt tears spring to her eyes. She managed to keep silent as she wept, but it was harsh as painful, choked silent sobs escaped her. The tears felt scalding hot as they fell, so salty to the taste as they reached her lips.
She loved Jay... She *knew* she did, or else she would never have married him. But she was terrified that, in spite of that, he wasn't the person she was meant to be with, to spend the rest of her life with. If that were truly the case, and he was the one, why was she unable to rid Adam's sharply handsome face from her mind? All these years, it always came back to him... And she knew there *had* to be a reason for that.
Amy stood there for the longest time, still silently crying, her head bowing. She knew it was stupid to mourn a relationship that was virtually nonexistent, but she couldn't help the hurt in her heart.
'Oh, Adam!' she thought. 'If only I'd gathered up the courage...'
And then she shook her head at those thoughts... Damn it, she *was* stupid. She was married... And Adam had never once looked upon her in that fashion. What the hell was she thinking? Nonetheless, it hurt.
She stayed by the window awhile longer until she caught her breath, forcing herself to stop crying. If she didn't quit it now, she'd continue until Jay woke up, and then she would have some serious explaining to do. She certainly didn't want *that* to happen.
The redhead gathered her composure and squared her shoulders. Turning away from the window, she returned to the
bed and slid in, her eyes instantly closing.