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She lay silent as a stone on the hotel room bed, her breathing soft as she exhaled through her mouth.
Lita was able to make out the sleeping form of Tori on the other bed, the blonde woman's breath coming in deep and regular. She knew the other diva had an insomnia problem, as she'd spotted the sleeping pills earlier in the night. Tori had noticed her eyeing the bottle and explained her predicament to the redhead.
Then, as she'd begun preparing for bed, the blonde had taken two pills, leaving the rest of the bottle on the nightstand between the two beds. Lita had kept her gaze on that bottle, and, to her relief, the other diva hadn't noticed.
Now, she sat upright in the bed, the not so distant memory of her earlier ordeal with Essa replaying itself in her mind.
He'd been so violent, so very brutal... So unlike himself. But it had been him, all right - he'd attacked her, subjected her to the utmost humiliation and violation.
And Lita hated herself for it...
She didn't want to have to live with everything that had happened tonight. She didn't know that she could live with the memory of the attack. And come to think of it, she didn't really care to find out.
She'd been laying stone silent in the bed, beneath the blanket, for the last hour. She'd wanted to make absolute certain that Tori was alseep before she made her move. Now, there was no doubt in her mind that this was indeed the case - the blonde DX diva hadn't even stirred in the last forty or so minutes.
She was asleep...
Biting her lip gently, the redhead shifted her body closer to the side of the bed beside which stood the nightstand. Tentatively, she reached over with one hand, blindly feeling around with her fingers.
Lita's hand skimmed over various objects - one of which was obviously a hairbrush that belonged to Tori. In another few seconds, she touched the object she was searching for - the bottle of sleeping pills...
The instant her fingers closed over the bottle, she snatched her hand back, pressing it close against her chest. Her breathing, heart rate and pulse all quickened as she listened for any telltale signs that she might have awakened the woman in the other bed.
A quick glance in the darkness of the room told her that Tori was still asleep, and soundly at that. She hadn't so much as moved a muscle. Crazily, the redhead fleetingly wondered if she was even still alive...
But she could hear her breathing.
Lita knew it was all just her own morbidity talking in wondering such a dreary thing.
She thought about what she was doing, and what she had in mind... What she was loosely planning to do...
The redhead didn't believe herself strong enough to withstand the memory of the attack from earlier that day - or of the mere knowledge of it. It was a devastating thing when the person you loved the most - and who supposedly loved you equally - perpetrated such unspeakable horror against you.
Even so, Lita wondered. She really wondered. Should she do it? It had been her first impulse, upon seeing Tori's bottle of sleeping pills. It seemed like such an easy way out.
Essa... She thought about what he'd done, of what she would never in a million years thought him capable.
Tears starting to stream down her face, Lita made up her mind.
In a way, her mind had been made up for her - by him...