__________________________________________________________
The woman gazed out the window of the bus as she held her breath in anticipation. A chill of excitement ran through her as she thought about what she was about to do.
She was taking a big risk - huge one, actually, but she couldn't help herself. It had been eight months... Eight whole months of loneliness and misery.
The wistful longing overtook her night after night, and the young woman felt as though she might lose her mind - go insane - if she didn't see him again.
{Into your
eyes
My face remains...}
The bus finally came to a stop, and she stood up, clutching her bag against her as she stepped into the aisle. It had been dark, as it was the middle of the night - about a quarter to two, according to her watch. People had turned on the tiny lights above their heads as the only illumination in the vehicle.
The woman took a deep breath, feeling her heart pounding, her stomach filled with a million butterflies as she thought about him...
They'd been so very much in love. There was no doubt in her mind that he was her soulmate. They had talked about the future all the time - about moving in together... Marriage - he'd told her about seven months into their relationship that he'd wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, marry her... They'd even discussed having a child someday. Everything had been so perfect, and she'd wanted more than anything to do all of those things with him. She loved him more than she'd ever loved anyone.
And then, everything had come crumbling down around them. Her entire world had collapsed - their entire world had collapsed.
The pain she'd felt had been nothing to her compared with the hurt he had felt. She'd been more concerned about his feelings, his reaction when she'd told him...
She'd been in danger. Her life might very well be in jeopardy if she continued to stay here. That hadn't bothered her the worst... No, what bothered her most of all was that he might also be in danger if she stayed with him.
When she'd explained her horrifying predicament, he had insisted she leave - not for his sake, for his concern lay only on her welfare and safety. At first, she'd adamantly refused to leave - she didn't want to leave him, couldn't do it. She couldn't live without him. And the truth was, she was afraid he might actually wither away and die if she were ever to leave him.
The man she loved had told her to go - not for his own sake, but for hers. She had no choice. She'd had to leave. He wouldn't hear of her staying for him - he refused to let her risk her life for him.
And so, she'd gone away, allowing herself to be put into their hands, putting her entire life into their care. They'd done what they'd deemed necessary with her, placing her into an entirely new life. She couldn't leave her new surroundings - and therefore, she would never see him again.
The entire first day she'd been away from him, she'd shed bitter tears, her sobs harsh and uncontrollable as she cried. She had cried so very much that her eyes had become so puffy and swollen she could barely open them the next morning. Her throat was raw and hurt like hell from all the sobbing and screaming she'd done at the unfairness of the situation. She had a pounding headache that didn't go away for two whole days.
After a mere two weeks in this new life, she'd briefly toyed with the idea of suicide. Sure, it had only been two weeks, and she was alive and apparently safe here, but what good was all that if she wasn't happy? What was the point of going on if she couldn't be with the man she loved? For two years, he had just about been her entire life. For crying out loud, they'd even shared one another's careers. Their lives had been meshed into one throughout the duration of their relationship.
She'd thought about breaking free a few times before, but she'd taken the coward's way out and not done a damn thing. It wasn't that she was afraid for her well-being - she was terrified that if she showed up in his life again, after all these months of absence, he would just flat-out refuse her, turn her away - turn his back on her. And she couldn't bear the mere thought of that. She still loved him far too much to be able to deal with such a thing happening. And if that were to happen, she thought she might actually go through with her earlier thoughts and kill herself for real.
"Where to, miss?" the cab driver asked her as she stepped into a taxi that had pulled up in front of the bus station, waiting for a passenger and the fare they would offer.
"The Sheraton hotel, please," she spoke softly.
"You got it." The man put the car in drive and took off into the night.