Are We There Yet?

Red Eye Raw

After a TV taping one night in Los Angeles, Test, Christian, myself, and the two Hardys’ were on a red-eye back to Chicago. Everyone was going their separate ways from there.

Christian passed out within minutes of sitting down. I mean out like a light. So we got a Sharpie and some makeup from one of the stewardesses to draw on his face. His head was kind of sideways, his mouth was wide open, he was drooling… all the things he usually does when he sleeps. We first decided to put on a People’s Eyebrow on him with the Sharpie. This was when The Rock had those thick sideburns, so we drew in these big, exaggerated, fat chops on him. Then we colored the half of his face that was showing with blush, eyeliner, lipstick, whatever she had in that bag. And he didn’t wake up through any of this.

Now Matt was watching all this, laughing along. But halfway through Christian’s makeover Matt fell asleep, too. What a bad move that was. I have no idea what he was thinking. He saw all of this going on, did he think we’d let him sleep in peace?

We kept it real simple with Matt, all we did was write the word “Dickhead” on his forehead. Matt woke up before Christian, so when he got up he saw the finished makeover on Christian and was cracking up.

“Oh, this is so great! We’re going through O’Hare, the biggest airport in the world, and he looks like an idiot. I can’t wait to land,” he yelled. “We got him so good. This is awesome!”

And he was laughing like a little schoolgirl, I mean he was going nuts over the whole thing, and meanwhile he‘s looking at us with “Dickhead” written on his forehead. The rest of us were cracking up at the thought of Matt walking through O’Hare with “Dickhead” written on his forehead, but Matt thought we were only laughing at the Christian situation. We were hoping that neither of them would realize it for a while yet.

Finally, Christian started flopping at his face in his sleep and woke up. He went right into the bathroom and the rest of us were all like, “Damn, we almost had it.”

When he came out, you could see his face was all scratched up, scrubbed raw, and he still had some makeup on it. Matt was still laughing at him when he got back to his seat and when the stewardess came around to bring us some drinks she looked at Matt and told him, “Oh, looks like they got you, too.” Matt jumped up and took off for the bathroom. He came out with his forehead raw from scrubbing “Dickhead” off.

Sure, neither of them walked through O’Hare with the stuff all over their face like we’d hoped, but it was still a lot of fun for the rest of us and made the time go by quickly. These are the kinds of fun things you have to do to pass the time on a red-eye flight.

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Special thanks to Carolyn for typing this up for me!
 
 
 

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