Ministry Of Mayhem

Note: A *huge* thanks goes out to Linilya for transcribing Edge's appearance on the show for me! =) Now read on and enjoy...

June 9, 2004

Anywho the presenter first welcomes THE Edge (Man I hate when they stick THE in there...). A little person (sorry don't know what's politically correct to call him) comes out dressed in wrestling clothes (i.e., little luchador lycra thing). Steven (presenter) starts talking smack about how girly wrestling is and Edge walks up behind him (looking fine in a black shirt and jeans) and starts beating up Steven.

The other presenter, Michael says: Edge don't mean to disturb you! You alright?

Edge: I'm doing ok.

Michael: Excellent. Treating you well so far?

Edge: So far, so good.

Michael: Looking forward to later?

Edge: Of course I am.

Michael: Carry on.

Edge: Haha, ok!
(Beats up Steven some more.)
He's a lovely man, lovely man.

Go to show.

Come back after and everyone's on the couch. Steven makes a joke about getting away from Edge and Edge gets up to kick his ass but Michael holds him back and tells him to calm down and breath, which he does. Michael says that later on Edge and Steven are gonna have an actual wrestling bout for 60 seconds. Then they go for a commercial.

Sidenote: Everytime they go for a commercial they all say MOM's the word and then out there fingers on their nose, you know as in that "You ain't seen me" or "Mind your business" kinda taunt. Edge looks so cute everytime he does it!

Come back later and they're on the couch again. They talk about the fight and say it's just a warm up for Edge cause there's gonna be a PPV on Sunday.

Edge: Yeah actually after the show I fly out right back to the US and we have a big PPV tomorrow, Vengeance, where Im basically gonna warm up on Steven for Randy Orton (Mwahaha! He wishes!!)

Sidenote: Second time they say THE Edge there...

They then go into this little segment where the guests have to put a cake on a skateboard and kick it so the cake flies into a big wall. They bring out a trolley with cakes on it. Holly (presenter 3) asks if Edge puts Rollers in his hair at night. Man, I'd love to see that, Edge just keeps looking at the cakes!

Steven: Ok, Edge you're gonna be first. Good luck to you. Ok, now the idea is that Holly is gonna give you advice on what cake you should have. Now what one would you recommend? for Edge?

Holly: Well Edge, it's very simple you see, because for you there can only be one cake. It's this cake right here a Mississippi Mud Pie wrestling cake! (Little cake with a ring in it!)

Steven: Bow don't make up your mind yet. What do you think in the Ministry? Should he have that cake yes or no?

Audience: Yeah!

Steven: Right... so, well, what do you say?

Edge: I'd like to eat it! (Cutest face!)

Steven: Oh, ok, well you might wanna save that and pick your own!

Edge: Ok.

Steven: Ok, you can have that one later after the show. Which one do you want? Anyone you like.

Edge: This one.

Steven: Ok. Ok, take this one. Do you want small, medium or large (Meaning the size of skateboard to use)

Edge: What do you think? You tell me!

Steven: Well, the thing is the size that you are - why don't you go for small?

Edge: Haha! Think my foot's bigger!

Steven: Most people use the medium one, but you may as well go for the biggie. Why not?

Edge: This one?

Steven: Absolutely.

Edge: Alright

Steven: Good man. Fantastic, he's going for the large. Now the big thing is how will he do? Will he get it higher...
(Edge walks in front of the camera. Steven moves. Audience laugh)

Steven: Will he get it higher than (someone?). Of course in the lead and have been for the last 19 weeks or something! Ok, good luck my man. Can we have...Ahhhh
(Edge kicks the skateboard before Ste says go!)

Steven: Ooh, he's gone early but you know something, the size of him he can go anytime he likes! How high was that? That was good!

Holly: It was right...You see that streak just under Rock's (must be Rocky) head? That was it! Just under 5 meters! (Have no idea what that is in feet)

Steven: 5 meters! Good man that's unbelievable, superb. You've not actually got it (???). Superb!
(Edge has cake all over his shoulder...Any volunteers to clean him off?)
(The other guests go but only get 1 meter)

Steven: You know what that means. THE Edge is the biggest star in the Ministry today!

Michael comes out and Edge and some others start throwing cakes at him.

Later on he has the Little guy Ray in a headlock.

Next part is called Holly's Kitchen. (It's a ripoff of another cooking/reality show in the UK)

Holly: ...Welcome Michael and Edge (Dressed in little chef's outfits with shower cap things on. Edge's top was about 3 sizes too small!)

Holly: Now just because you're a big fella Edge, it doesn't mean you can't take on the mighty wrath of Chef Willabee (?? Wtf?) Do you understand?

Edge: (Looks so confused) I'll try and understand...(Says something but Holly talks over him)

Holly: Ok, you give it a "Yes, Chef" when you want to answer. Can we try that?

Edge: YES SIR...Ma'am...


Edge: ...Chef! Haha!

Holly introduces a Chef and says that she will be icing a cake and they'll have to do it too. She asks them if they're ready.

Holly: What about you? Are you into your cakes?

Edge: Eh...I'm into eating them. That's about it.

Chef shows them how to ice the cake with flowers and write MOM on it.

Holly: In wrestling do you need to write much?

Edge: Eh, not too often, no. I think I can remember how to do it.

They have 30 seconds to ice the cakes. There's people throwing pieces of food at them. At one point, someone throws a piece of tomato at Edge and he says "I got a tomato!" He outs the slice on his cake.

The Chef comes in to judge the cakes.

Holly: Let's take a look over here. This is Edge's. Would you like to lift the bowl off (Edge had put a bowl on top of his cake) and tell us what you think? We need a mark out of 10 for this, Trina, if you can possibly do that.

Edge: Mine has a tomato on it, though. Yeah, tomato flavored cake.

Chef Trina: Well he's very big so 5

Edge: 5?

Holly: That's VERY generous.

Michael gets a 6.


Michael: And this man Edge is gonna be pounding Steven into loads of little bits. What are ya gonna do?

Edge: I'm gonna break him into pieces!

Then the last thing is the wrestling match.

Michael: Weighing in at 250 lbs., all the way from the United States of America, I give you Edge! Edge tell us what will you be doing to Steven today?

Edge: I am going to break him in two. Im going to rip all of his limbs off and make him wish he had never been born!
Steven talks. Edge rips his shirt off. How many shirts do you think wrestlers go have to buy every month? They seem to always be ripping them off and this was a nice one... Anywho back to the recap. They get in the ring. 60 seconds on the clock. Edge goes for a punch twice but both times Steven ducks, he then goes under Edge's legs and jumps on his back. Edge backs him into the turnbuckle and then shoves his head into it. Bounces Steven off the ropes and clotheslines him. Edge picks him up and gives him a backbreaker. Ouch!! Edge tries to go after Ray (Little dude). At the end they all dance and look so stupid! Edge picks up a kid and dances with him!