______________________________________________________
The End of Heartache
"So, I... I don't know what to do," I said, reaching up to my temples. "I'm so stressed over this. Candice wants to abort the baby and Trish is just furious!"
Edge pressed his lips together as he studied me and nodded.
"It's a tough situation, kid," he agreed. "But there's really nothing you can do about it. When you really get down to it, it's between the two of them."
"I know, I know... But they're my friends, so I feel kind of in the middle. It's almost like Trish wants me to take sides, and... I can't do that."
My boyfriend-turned-friend opened his arms for me, sympathy etched on his face. I moved forward, allowing him to envelope me in a hug and stroke my back.
"Of course you can't," he said softly. "I'm sure she knows that, too but is just too upset to see it right now."
We were in Edge's Upper East Side apartment, and it was late afternoon. He was doing a bit of redecorating, so he'd actually taken a few days off to oversee it.
I pulled away long enough to look up into his green eyes. I felt so safe with him. I guess it didn't matter what we were to one another - lovers or friends. We had this unmistakable bond that was far greater than us. Of course, I kept expecting Edge to try to get me back ever since I told him about Jeff and me, but so far, it wasn't happening. For some reason, it was perfectly fine, though.
"Thanks for listening and letting me vent," I said.
"Oh, any time for you, kid." He winked at me, and that made me smile for probably the first time since I'd been there... Or had it been the first time since Trish had found out Candice was pregnant?
I sighed deeply at that thought and checked my watch.
"Well, I'd better be going," I said. "I promised Candice I'd go with her to the clinic, and we're supposed to meet in half an hour."
Edge walked me to the front door. He kept his arm around my shoulders the entire time.
"Stay strong, you hear?" he said.
"I will," I promised. "Thanks."
I fought off the urge to hug him again and instead gave him a small smile as I gazed up at him. He waved as I slipped out into the hallway.
*
"Trish, I'm home," Randy called as he entered their spacious apartment. He was quite tired after a rough day at work, but he managed to smile as he caught sight of his beautiful wife.
"Welcome home, honey," she said with a brief smile. She was in the dining room, setting the table for dinner. "I made your favorite tonight... Filet mignon with herb-roasted potatoes and green beans. I even baked an apple pie!"
"Oh... Honey, that's so sweet. But if it's all the same, I think I'll just have a quick sandwich and go to bed. I'm beat," Randy told her.
Trish's jaw flew open, despair coming to her face.
"What? But I slaved over a hot stove all afternoon!"
"I'm sorry."
"And you can't go to bed until you give me my shot - remember?"
Her husband's facial expression drastically changed to one of absolute weariness, defeat. He let out an audible sigh as well.
"I don't... I don't want to do this anymore."
"But you have to," Trish replied, surprised at the sudden calmness of her own voice. "It's the only way we'll ever get pregnant."
Randy appeared somewhat sad as he eyed her.
"No," he said. "I'm not talking about that... Although I'm not even sure I want to have a kid now." He hated the look of sadness in her face, in her brown eyes. "I mean this... the marriage. It's not working."
Trish could feel tears welling up in her eyes but held them back for the moment. She took a deep breath and exhaled sharply, knowing in her heart that he was right. Without a word of response, she nodded.
"You can have the apartment," Randy said calmly as he picked up his keys. He eyed her for a beat longer before turning and leaving, seemingly just as quickly as he'd arrived.
*
Candice looked up at me as I was filling out the form she had gotten from the receptionist.
"Do you have a family history of heart disease, allergies or high blood pressure?"
"No, no and no," she said.
I handed her the clipboard so she could sign and date the bottom of the document.
"Amy, do you think I'm doing the right thing? You don't think I'm a horrible person, do you?"
Of course I don't think you're a horrible person," I said. I reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"What if..." The brunette paused, her gaze straight ahead on nothing in particular as she searched for the words she wanted to say. "What if this is my only shot at having a baby?" She let out a sarcastic laugh. "I mean, look at Trish! Is she right? Am I being selfish?"
I remained silent, as I knew she wasn't finished. But I continued to hold onto my friend's hand.
"How can I be a mother, Amy? Me! I'm just about the least maternal woman I know! I'm a workaholic, I'm cynical, I can't hold onto a relationship... I barely have any sentiment. How can I...?"
"Sweetie, listen to me," I said softly, grabbing every ounce of her attention, "you don't have to go through with this if it's not what you truly want."
"I have to," Candice said, but her tone of voice wasn't quite as firm this time. "I can't have a baby now... I can't." She seemed defeated as she faced me, squeezing both my hands. "How can I do this, though? How can I get rid of my baby? My baby!" Tears began to shine in her eyes, and of course, it was just at that moment that the nurse called her.
"Candice Beckman?"
"That's me, I'm here!" she called, standing. She gave me a last look before heading in the nurse's direction to enter the procedure room.
*
Later, Lisa Marie and I were at Candice's apartment, giving her some much needed support.
"Here, you go, honey," Lisa said with a small smile as she sat beside her on the sofa. She handed her a hot cup of tea, and the other woman smiled gratefully and thanked her as she accepted it.
The doorbell rang, and I got up.
"I'll get it!" I briskly made my way to the door and opened it to see a smiling Trish standing there with a bouquet of flowers in hand. She appeared somewhat sad, and I knew this was difficult for her, but I appreciated that was keeping strong for the sake of our friend.
"Hi," she said softly. "I just wanted to visit and see how Candice was doing."
"Come on in," I said, putting an arm around my friend and ushering her inside. I led the way back into the living room and said, "Look who's here."
Candice smiled as she saw Trish behind me.
"Hi, Trish... Thanks for coming."
"Oh, no need to thank me," the blonde said. "We're friends, and friends are there for each other."
Lisa Marie and I exchanged glances and smiles.
"How... How are you feeling?" Trish's voice was a bit hesitant as she eyed the brunette with concern.
"A bit freaked out, but okay otherwise," Candice replied. She gazed at our friend for a beat before continuing. "Trish, I didn't go through with the abortion. I'm keeping the baby."
There was a brief silence in the air for what seemed like hours but was really only mere minutes. Then, the blonde's eyes widened.
I held my breath for a beat, worried about how our friend would react after all the trouble she'd gone through trying to get pregnant. Would she be able to handle this?
"You mean... We're having a baby?" she finally asked. Tears filled her brown eyes, but by the smile that suddenly came to her lips, we knew they were of joy.
"Yeah," Candice said. "Can you believe it? I'm going to be a mom!"
Trish laughed and moved closer to hug the brunette. Lisa Marie and I moved in as well, and we all shared a group hug.