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Why Her? Why Not Me?
My first date with Jeff Hardy had gone smoothly, without a hitch. He was very sweet, a gentleman, and a great conversationalist. We had not once run out of topics about which to discuss.
We were going out again on Friday. However, in spite of myself, those nagging thoughts about a certain ex of mine kept returning. And so, I decided to give Edge a call... After all, there was nothing wrong with being friends, right?
I knew Candice in particular would have my head on a platter for this... Nonetheless, I dialed his number that morning. What I hadn't planned on, however, was for someone else to answer.
"Hello?"
The voice was soft, lilting and feminine.
Oh, God! I thought. In a haste, and without a word, I hung up.
And then, I remembered that Edge had Caller ID. Biting my lip, I smacked the heel of my hand against my forehead. And I called back.
"Hello?"
This time, Edge himself answered. I had to fight from sighing in relief.
"Hey, it's Amy."
"Hi," he replied. "Did you just call?"
"No," I lied, cringing because, again, he had Caller ID. "Yeah, actually, I did. I'm sorry, I thought I had the wrong number when I heard Barbie's voice." There - as much of a lie as that excuse was, at least it sounded real. "Please tell her I'm sorry."
"Okay," Edge said. "What's up?"
"Well," I said, "we never really talked after... you know." I rolled my eyes at myself and then blurted the rest out. "I was thinking you and I can do the friends thing, and so... How about going out to lunch tomorrow?"
He seemed to hesitate for a minute after that, and I stared wondering if I were crazy. He was probably doing that, too. Damn it... Damn me!
"Yeah," he finally said. "That sounds good. Sure, lunch sounds fine for tomorrow."
"Great," I said. "So, how's one o'clock at the sushi place by St. Mark's?"
"I'll be there." He paused, then, "Amy, I'm glad you called. I've been meaning to give you a call."
"Oh... Yeah, me too." I wasn't quite sure of what else to say, so I ended the conversation. "Well, I've gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Later."
I hung up feeling a cross between mortified and relieved. It was an odd combination of emotions, to say the least.
*
The next day, I was full of nerves. I hadn't told my friends about my plans, for which I felt oddly guilty. But I would, so that eased my mind a little.
I entered the restaurant and gave my name to the host. I had made a reservation in my own name rather than Edge's since we were no longer a couple. The man told me my guest was already there and at a table.
I immediately spotted him as he rose, waving. He was dressed casually in jeans and a black button-down shirt.
"Hey."
"Hey," he said, pulling me into an embrace. He kissed me on the cheek, and it was all sorts of awkward.
We sat down, with Edge waiting for me to do so first. He gestured with one hand.
"I know what you like, so I already ordered for you... Hope you don't mind."
"Oh, no," I said dumbly. That threw me off. But I trusted his judgment. After all, we had dated for more than two years, so he should what my favorite sushi was.
There was a bout of brief silence between us. For a moment, my mind shifted to Jeff as I wondered how he would feel if he knew I was out to lunch with my ex-boyfriend. Still, it shouldn't matter - we'd only been on one date so far.
"You look great," Edge said. He was smiling as he gave me a once-over.
"Thanks."
A half-hour later, we were nearly done with our food. Even better than that, we were engaged in steady conversation, with none of those awkward pauses.
That was, until I decided to bring up a certain someone.
"So, how is Barbie?"
He shifted ever so slightly in his seat, appearing suddenly uncomfortable.
"Are you sure you want to go there?"
I thought it over for a beat, then nodded.
"Yeah, I think I do... After all, if we're going to be friends, we're going to have to hear about one another's relationships."
"She's great," Edge said with a smile. "She just finished a shoot for Vogue, and-"
"No, you know what?" I interrupted, shaking my head and holding up both hands in protest. "I changed my mind. Let's make a rule for this friendship thing... No one talks about their relationships unless they're serious." I let out a small laugh.
He, however, didn't follow the gesture. Instead, he eyed me with the most serious expression.
"Amy," he said softly, "it is serious."
"Oh." I was taken aback, my throat going dry. "H-How serious?"
Edge lowered his gaze to the table, suddenly unable to meet my eyes.
"Very... We're engaged."
All of a sudden, my entire body felt as though it had separated from me. Certainly, I had to have heard him wrong. I had to!
"What?"
"We're en-"
"No! Don't you dare repeat that!" I exclaimed. My head was spinning, and I grasped it with both hands. "I suddenly have a splitting headache."
"Amy..."
I looked up and stared into his eyes, more angry and hurt than I could ever recall. None of this made any sense.
"You're engaged? How the hell can you be engaged?" I demanded. "You string me along for over two years, telling me you never want to get married again, and now you're engaged to a twenty-two year-old model?!"
"I'm sorry... I wanted you to find out from me and not the paper." He reached out for my hand, but I tore away as though feeling fire - which I was. I bolted up so fast, my chair tipped over, backwards.
"I can't believe this!" I cried, and I knew we had an audience but ignored it. I reached for some random bills in my purse, chucking them onto the table.
"Amy, don't do this," Edge said weakly. He looked sad, but I refused to stay because of that.
"Oh, screw you!" I yelled, but I was more hurt than anything else at this point. I turned and ran from the restaurant.
And I didn't once look back.