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I don't believe in love...
Not anymore - not after the unfathomable way she made me fall for her with her irresistible charm and sweetness - to say nothing of her physical beauty - only to rip my heart out of my chest and toss it haphazardly to the ground, stomping on it as though she herself has no heart.
Which, obviously, she *doesn't*...
I thought we were growing closer, really making a connection. I honestly thought that she was 'the one.' I could have easily envisioned her and myself spending the rest of our lives together, entangled in a deep and passionate, true love the likes of which I'd never even dreamed... But once again, fate has played me.
Just like she - no, *they* - played me for a fool.
Oh, I can accept Christian betraying me in such a crude fashion. After all, the 'creepy little bastard' is no longer my best friend. Hell, he's no longer a friend, period! After he so viciously attacked her in the ring and then did the same to me in the back two weeks later, he'd put himself right on the list of Chris Jericho's bitter enemies. I'll never trust him again, but then again... I'll never trust Trish Stratus again, either.
It happened only a few short hours ago, and I *still* have difficulty believing it really happened. Trish and I had a great relationship once all that juvenile bet business had been shoved past us. I realized how horrible it made her feel, and I apologized profusely for it. I made a promise to her - a promise that I would never try or do something so stupid and heartless again. I told her I'd do *anything* for a second chance at her heart. And she accepted - or so I thought.
Despite my bitter anger and frustration over what happened, I feel a tear coming to one of my clear blue eyes. No... I won't shed that thing. I *refuse* to, at least for now. It's bad enough that Trish had actually schemed with my former best friend, had been *sleeping* with the asshole for God knows how long... I won't give them the satisfaction of my tears, even if they're nowhere around to see me cry.
Damn them to hell...
The one other thing I have trouble grasping is why it stings so badly when Trish and I never really moved out of that awkward stage of male-female friendship where the two people supposedly like each other as *more* than friends... I say 'supposedly' only because of what she's done and what she's become. Obviously, she played me, so she couldn't really have had any feelings for me - right?
{I don't believe in love
I never have, I never will
I don't believe in love
I'll just pretend she never was real
I don't believe in love
It's never worth the pain that you feel...}
She hit me... She actually hit me right in my face - *hard*... Not once, but twice. It hurt physically, but even worse, emotionally. Any physical pain, I can withstand. Years of being a professional wrestler have provided me the ability to do so, but nothing could shield me from the horrible emotional pain. I'm a wreck. I'm furious, hurt, shocked and completely devoid of hope and faith in love all at once. And that is probably the worst thing of all...
Because of Trish Stratus, I no longer believe in love... 'Damn you, Trish!'
I run a hand through my shoulder-length blond hair as I make my way to the window in my hotel room. I can't sleep and know I'll never be able to, not tonight. Possibly not tomorrow, either.
As I gaze out the window, the memories come flooding back...
~"Trish, I have to be honest with you... I know we're now 'just friends,' but..."
The little blonde arched an eyebrow, her pretty face taking on a questioning look.
"What, Chris? Tell me..."
"I..." I ducked my head, actually afraid to meet her brown eyes. "I..." I raked a hand through my long hair as I forced myself to look into her beautiful orbs. "I *love* you..."
Her mouth opened in surprise as she stared at me as though with wonder. She really was so lovely. And then she reached out, her hand gently grasping my chin as she spoke.
"Wow... Well, I... I love you, too, Chris Jericho..." And then, she moved forward, on her tiptoes, and kissed me.~
I kissed her back, and it felt like heaven on earth - but little did I know then that she was nothing but a tempestuous little tramp...
Shit... I curse myself as I suddenly realize that tear won the battle against me after all. In the squared circle, I can beat guys like Kane, Triple H and Shawn Michaels... Oh, the irony of the fact that Chris Jericho goes down in defeat at the hands of a single, tiny teardrop...
But what it all comes down to, in reality, is the power of Trish Stratus... The power she held - and *still* holds - over me...
|| End? = Or should I continue?